Life Through Broken Lenses

2004-05-10T08:18:00.000-07:00

6 months.

6 months has it suspended between this plane of existence and the next. Not quite living, yet not truly dead.

Like an undead being it festers in my hold, while prying eyes and curious tongues ask:
Is it dead? Is it dead?

Should I put it to rest? Many think I should. But like the vampiric brides clutching to their lifeless stillborns, I hope to breathe life into it once more.

(Actually, I may wake up one day with the overwhelming desire to divulge my private life to all and sundry. God help me then.)

No, it shall not die. With cotton and myrrh and stone I now preserve it, to await a sign.

Sleep, my child.

"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."

Man, I think I've read too much Anne Rice.

2003-11-12T19:56:00.000-08:00

Hey visit this website, K? and pledge your support to bring the movie here.

2003-09-29T05:38:00.000-07:00

" At the end of it all, I want to say:
I was the bride married to amazement,
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms."

I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to.

2003-09-24T22:02:00.000-07:00

Im so proud of myself. This is the first time I've been online since my last blog entry and I feel like... like... like im part of the world! Like man, there's a world out there after all. *shock*
Must make mental note to cut holes for eyes next time I retreat into my brown paper bag. Or get cable tv for my hermit's cave.

I really need to get a life.

This week's gonna be busy. I have to go do (perm? colour?) my hair, de-fur my legs (which have been SO maltreated), get rid of my stress zits, and shop like anything cos I have been like SO out of touch with, you know, couture.

To those buggers who keep asking me how my papers went, I say again: I've gone through the trauma once, I really don't want to relive it again. My whole happy existence hinges on denial. And I'll like to keep it that way, thank you very much.
Plus I really dont need the reminder that my future is just about doomed and the closest I'll ever come to surgery is when I de-gut the fishes at Ah-Ning's fishmonger stall at pasir panjang market. Come vist if u guys are free.

oh, does anyone know if US medicine degrees are register-able in Singapore?

I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope it gets better as we go

2003-06-28T06:07:00.000-07:00

hoo xing ning
Magic Number	14
Job	Criminal
Personality	Multiple
Temperament	Best Not To Ask
Sexual	Whatever, Whenever, Whoever
Likely To Win	A Nobel Prize
Me - In A Word	Startling
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack

2003-06-28T05:01:00.000-07:00

"May the fire of your love not be a will-o'-the-wisp:
an illusion, a dying fire, that neither sets ablaze what it touches nor gives off any heat."
St Josemaria in pt. 412 of "The Way"

2003-06-15T22:57:00.000-07:00

Damn. I blogged a nice long blog and I just deleted it accidentaly. Stupid blogger.

2003-06-09T00:37:00.000-07:00

you are crush. You are a 150 year old sea turtle
with a laid back surfer dude attitude.
I want to be squirt! I cant seem to get squirt!

what character from finding nemo are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-06-09T00:26:00.000-07:00

Went to BBTT party on Sat at kenneth's! And had a ball of a time. Fell in love with his cherry liquer and this coffee liquer( Jamin and shawn told me it was called something that sounded a lot like car-luar. But given my state then, I cant be sure.) and kenneth's signature cocktails.

Manda had many many of Kenneth's strawberry cocktails but still managed to yell "AHHHHHHH!" at the appropriate moments when we played 007-bang-ah! So much for intellectual games, huh manda? :)

Jamin and I polished of nearly 3/4 of the bottle of the cherry thing between the both of us and I think I drank about $90 worth of stuff. I hope Kenneth doesn't find out.

Played Aquire with Declan and made $29500! If only we had played in cash. Gah.

2003-06-04T23:36:00.000-07:00

Post Production Blues

After Friday night, it has been a flurry of parties and other stuff, not forgetting trying desperately to pick up my work where I had left off last.(which was a long time ago.), so I havent exactly had time to slow down and think about the Measure for Measure much. (See? Idleness is thoughtful and explorative.)

Now it all seems so far, far away. The last I can remember of the night was standing on the lip of the stage, the blinding lights in my eyes, the applause drowned out by the roaring of blood past my ears.This warmth washes over me, followed by a wave of ecstacy. At the risk of sounding horribly cliched, it's one of those moments where your heart's dying to sing and your spirit takes flight. I am delirious, drunk on the heady atmosphere. And the applause. And the attention. And i suddenly have this really strange urge to dance.

Yet beneath it all, somthing sobering sits at the pit of my stomach.
Damnit. This is the last time I'll be ever doing this.
And I struggle to soak up every sensation, to notice every detail- the warmth of the floods on my cheeks, the familiar faces- and to freezeframe the moments as they come, before they are torn from me all too soon.
I feel those on my left and right tighten their grip on my hands, and I get the feeling Im not alone on this.

Thinking back on all the rehearsals, the sacrificing of so much time, the fustration at not being able to deliver, being completely drained of any emotion at the end of the day, after all the strain and pressure and occasional tears that are so much part of every production, and I wonder why I keep going back to it, again and again.
Then i remember that moment.

In productions, because you put so much of yourself on the line, Im glad I've had the chance to work with a bunch of people i could really trust. And have fun with. You guys rock, man.

And to all those who were there to share those very special moments with me- the class girls manda, gen, lila, yan-jie,esther and yingyue and guys yucai and bang, toe, cat, bee, chong, pao, manda(flouncy), kenneth, eik feng, shawn, timo and Stella( I cant believe u knew abt this!) and all the councillors and most of all my family, thank you so much for being there. You guys are the reason we can go up there and do it time and time again. And thank you for the flowers. They made me melt. Especially the lilies. :)

You know what they say about swan songs. Their beauty lies not in their tune, but the passion that inspires them.

2003-05-23T00:39:00.000-07:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

2003-05-23T00:15:00.000-07:00

Aiyee.... havent had the time or the spirit to blog the last few weeks. Things havent exactly been going too well.... and I dont think im out of the fire yet. At least not till next Friday's over. My last few days have been: come home. vaguely acknowledge that there are pple at home (really?). bathe. Fall flat on bed. So there. Can't fault me for having a overflowing mailbox and a backdated blog.

Have been trying all kinds of things to make myself feel better, but none of them seems to have worked. (Yes, not even Ben and Jerry's cookie dough drizzled all over with fudge.). Went cycling, but the ride along the beach increased the melancholy, if anything. Tried comfort food, but just came out of it feeling fat. Went cheonging and drinking last weekend, but all it resulted in was a whole weekend of suay-ness ( I have again proved Murphy's Law) and lots of little dwarves banging on the inside of my skull with sledgehammers.
This is so, so pathetic.

I guess over the last few weeks, some things I thought I knew I learnt alll over again the hard way. And Im still learning them, every day. And maybe I just need to have a good cry in the shower (ping! an idea!) and hope i learn fast enough so I can get out of this asap.

Till then, I'll keep searching for strength. And eating cookie dough.

Give me endless summer
Lord I feel the cold
Feel Im getting old
Before my time

--A Better Man.

2003-04-20T06:04:00.000-07:00

By His rising we are brought to new life

Long ago He blessed the earth
born older than the years
And in the stall a cross He saw
through the first of many tears

A life of homeless wandering
cast out in sorrow's way
the shepherd seeking for the lost
His life the price He'll pay

Love crucifiied arose
the risen one in splendor
Jehovah's sole defender
has won the victory
Love crucified arose
And the grave became a place of hope
for the heart that sin and sorrow broke
is beating once again!
...
Love crucified arose
the one who lived and died for me
was satan's nail-pierced casualty
now he's breathing once again
Love crucified arose
and the grave became a place of hope
for the heart that sin and sorrow broke
is beating once again!

---Love Crucified Arose ( Easter hymm)

Joy to the world, the Lord is risen! Everybody scream Alleluia!
Christ our light has triumphed. Rejoice, all you children of truth.

Was watching the baptism of all the neophytes last night and felt a twinge. I wonder how long God's preparing to wait for me?

2003-04-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

By his death our robes are cleaned....

On the Via Dolorosa
in Jerusalem that day
The soldiers tried to clear the narrow street.
But the crowds pressed in to see
The man condemned to die on Calvary.

He was bleeding from a beating
there were stripes upon his back
And he wore a crown of thorns upon his head.
And he bore with every step
the scorns of those who cried out for his death.

Down the Via Dolorosa
the Way of Suffering
like a lamb came my messiah, Christ the King
And he chose to walk that road
Out of his love for you and me
Down the Via Dolorosa all the way
to Calvary.

--Via Dolorosa (Good Friday hymm)

Over the last 2 days of masses and reflections and prayers and all, I've come to realize something that I've heard countless times, but havent actually felt the ooomph behind the words hit me right in the middle like it has now.

God is beautiful beyond words.

Mine is the God who loves his children.
Mine is the God who always is on the losing end of the deal, giving more love than He can ever hope to see returned.
Mine is the God who truly understands, because in becoming flesh, He came into complete solidarity with His children.
Mine is the God who leads by example, who lives in humility and service, who suffers to pay our debt, who kneels and washes our feet, the only God who seems silly enough to die for His own, to pay a price for those who have caused Him much pain.

Such is the beauty of my God. possessing the power to punish, yet choosing to forgive and love.

To those who don't understand, God would sound like a loser, even... weak, somewhat. But He is mine and I am His, and Im proud to be called His own.

'We adore You O Christ and we praise You,
Because by your holy Cross You have redeemed the world!'

--Proclaimation in Stations of the Cross

2003-04-16T23:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday gen and I went running in a desperate bid to lose some of my butt and (miracles of miracles) pass NAPFA. So gen suggested we go for a 'short' jog. Apparently her definition of short vastly differed from mine.

Firstly, I had no freaking idea where we were going. And after about 10 minutes, I figured that gen didn't either. (Somebody scream clueless here). So we behaved like all dads do and pretended that we weren't lost at all and kept going with pretty smiles pasted on our faces.

We finally found the turning to the canal route after smiling prettily for another 10 mins. Except for some unleashed dogs which took great interest in my knees, the stretch was pretty cool. And I took great pleasure jogging past all the ah peks and aunties and looking oh-so-fit. (I wish.)

It started to get really dark and since we still had no idea where we were, we decided to attempt to return to school. And all the way back I discovered that some crafty road-naming person had deceptively named the stretch Holland Grove Rise instead of Holland Grove Mountain or Holland Grove Cliffs. At least MOUNT Sinai is truthful. hmmmph. I nearly stopped to ask for a pickax and a harness.

Anyway, I went to gen's house later for tuition, so she decided to lend me a shower for everybody-who-was-within-3-meters-of-me's sake. And I managed to gather quite a lot from her bathroom.
1. Somebody really, really loves tennis. This green mug told me that about 50 times.
2. There are fewer toothbrushes than pple in her house, so somebody doesnt brush her teeth.
3. Ah ha. My gillette shaving gel isnt the only can that rusts. Thank goodness. So much for a rust-free bottle. Sue them!

And I had this totally wondeerful time picking out the shampoo. There were bottles and bottles of exortic stuff all of them promising to do something wonderful for your follicles. After dismissing this jumbo industrial sized bottle of Paul Mitchell labelled as dandruff (does it give dandruff or what?) and these few bottles which had a whole load of strange french (ooh lala) words on them, and laughing at this water shampoo that promised to rise through your hair (a la Jianbang's durian head) I decided on this Stretchingshampoo that supposedly will make my hair longer (this would put Yun Nam out of business) with this Satin detangler. I feel like a tai tai already. Spent the rest of the night scrutinizing my hair and wondering which were the newly grown bits.

Went home and watched Interview with a vampire. Decided that Bradd pitt and Tom cruise are gay. What else would you expect of 2 guys struggling on the floor groping for each other's necks?

2003-04-16T01:25:00.000-07:00

The children of Jerulsalem
Welcomed Christ the King
They carried olive branches
And loudly praised the Lord
'Hosana to the Son of David
The King of Israel
Blessed is He who comes
in the name of the Lord
Hosana in the Highest!'

--Canticle for Passion Sunday procession

Holy week is here, and I dont think Im feeling the way I want to. Yet. Like, Good Friday is in like what, 2 days? Im not at all prepared. Oh my. oh oh my.

2003-04-14T19:19:00.000-07:00

Went cycling on Friday again. (my life seems to revolve around that quite a lot nowadays.) Ended up with this cranky old scrap of metal that couldn¡¯t change gears and had a loose chain that was hell to ride. Now I know why bang insisted on going home to get his own bike. He must be prophetic.

Jamie, toe and I lagged behind cos of some bike problems that resulted in us riding back to the kiosk to change bikes. Which turned out to be a good thing cos the rest of the peeps (manda, gen, bang and yucai) were attempting to reach Changi Airport, which was about ten light years away. We tried to catch up with them, but stopped when Jamie screeched and proclaimed this stretch of road the perfect setting for Blair Witch III. I inspected the dark, unlit gravel path complete with spindly trees and soggy marshes and shuddered. That place sure looked different in the twilight.

We cycled to this nice breakwater, counted and played guess-the-airlines, squinted at the hazy horizon and tried to imagine a simply splendid sunset that wasn¡¯t there( toe was really excited to see this tiny streak of pink), donated blood to the circle of life, saw some lovebirds in a compromising position and discussed aviation like true professionals.

Me: I think runways turn to accommodate the changing prevailing winds, right?
Jamie: Don¡¯t be a dodo lar, where got runway can turn one? Crazy. There¡¯s no need for a runway lar; why cant they have this huge landing square patch of field for planes to land any-oh-how?
Toe: cos they like that, and like that(gesture professionally with hands), will crash right? (makes loud exploding noise) Duh.

Then we realized that PREVAILING winds don¡¯t change and the direction of the runway won¡¯t be a problem after all and that aviation is truly a complicated thing. So we decided to do something simpler and count stars instead. And that was how yucai found us, lying on our backs, giggling nonsensically at the night sky.

They should never let us run the country.

2003-04-09T02:02:00.000-07:00

Goddess of the Night. Beautiful yet a strange
darkness and sadness lurk about you.

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-09T01:52:00.000-07:00

After days of acting like old sea dogs and trying to sniff out the weather, we finally gave up on Sunday and reverted to the older but more reliable method of crossing our fingers and praying that the weather would hold out. So I finally got to go cycling. Whooooopie!

Trotted over to Kenneth's so we both could bike down to east coast where we were to meet manda (who was jogging all the way down to the beach, the gung-ho girl.). I wont go further into the trip cos I still giggle sheepishly whenever I think of it.
In short, I completely humiliated myself by nearly falling into this huge drain (man, my life flashed before my eyes for an instant), skidding (and toppling) around this tight turn, and scraping, squeezing, stalling, balancing my way across the narrow pedestrian passage next to the flyover. I got over at last, but not before scaring the daylights out of many joggers, dragging half the railings down with me and leaving half the bike on the flyover..(hey, give me a break, can? The gear was damn tight, really difficult to balance leh.) hmm… at least Kenneth attempted to hide his snorts by burying his face in his sleeve. Nice try.

Yep. So after a harrowing 10 mins, we got to the beach, met manda and started cycling. We went down this nice gravel road next to these nice steaming marshes and wound up in this nice quiet stretch of beach that only appeared quiet till we noticed the rustling, shaking bushes. We spent a grand total of five minutes there watching the planes and admiring the city skyline before feeling awfully unwanted and slinking away, tiptoeing carefully round the (still shaking) bushes.

Then we made for the other end of East Coast. Wanted to cycle across Benjamin Shears but there was construction there so we turned off near fort road and went to Kallang Macs for dinner and then went up and down Kallang River and pebble bay instead. Manda had to leave after that and since she had the only workable handphone around (Man, I need a new phone) and I needed to make a call, the both of us went in search of a phone booth. Or at least I went in search of a phone booth while Kenneth had ideas of his own and started to turn down all these strange dark alleys… and wound up at Andy’s place. Apparently that was his idea of a public phone. Well… at least it was free.

Imagine Andy’s surprise when kenneth called him on the intercom and then yelled ‘Andy…andy…andy’ loud enough for him to figure we were downstairs. Me, well, I was busy holding on to the bikes and praying that the few disgruntled neighbors who threw us dirty looks wouldn’t notice me and think me a bike stand instead. (Incidentally though, one of those few disgruntled neighbours happened to be this hunk of a guy wrapped in a little more than a loincloth. Hubba hubba hubba.) And when Andy came down and saw two pple and three bikes, it took us quite a while to convince him that no, manda isn’t hiding in the bushes waiting to jump out at you, Andy. Relax.

The trip back was one of the best rides I’ve done. There was a lull in the storming in the afternoon, so the sky was boiling and the weather was remarkably cool and the air felt so, so clean. And East Coast was deserted. So we had the whole road to ourselves to speed, to coast and to chit chat all the way back. We even stopped to listen to free live music outside one of the pubs. The singer was a middle aged, bald and potbellied ang moh who sang… well let’s just say it isn’t the best singing I’ve ever heard. But I’ve heard worse. Were deciding whether to stand up and clap really loudly and scream more, more! at the end of each set, but realized that we were within throwing distance and microphone on head would be rather painful.

By the time I got home I was poofed. And my butt was aching to high heaven. Those men’s seats are so terribly narrow I was completely bruised. One wonders why guys don’t lose their balls during a cycle. It’s better than an ARUBBA anyday. Ouch.

Anyone wanna go cycle?

2003-04-07T08:28:00.000-07:00

Anyway... was reading blogs and saw this snippet in Sharon's. And I was once again disillusioned. About the inate goodness and godliness that i believe and still hope to believe, exists in all man.

'In Iraq, whole families of civilians are being destroyed by the war and by increasingly paranoid allied soldiers. One of the most poignant casualties was an old man who purposely put on his best suit to go pass the checkpoint. A western-styled, pin-striped coat. To show that he was pro-America. But they just riddled him- and the rest of his family with him in the vehicle- with 25mm cannon bullets all the same due to some communication error. Damn the war.'

Then Ivy spoke to me on ICQ and told me something she saw in TIME mag.
This Arab watches footage of Iraqi civilian casualties on tv and he grits his teeth and says "we will see pictures of american children bleeding like that, God willing."

War does terrible things. And Im not talking about the loss of lives. Im talking about the decaying of souls, the defeat of humanity.

2003-04-05T00:35:00.000-08:00

Which chicago Character Are You?

Brought to you by Faytrial

What's Your Movie Dream Car?

by Auto Glass America

hahah! Loooovvveee this car.

2003-04-05T00:04:00.000-08:00

Who will buy this wonderful morning?
Such a sky you never did see!
Who will tie it up with a ribbon
and put it in a box for me?

So I can see it at my leisure,
whenever things go wrong
And I will treat it like a treasure
to last my whole life long.

Who will buy this wonderful feeling?
I'm so high I swear I could fly!
My oh my! I dont wanna lose it
So what am I to do
to keep the sky so blue?
There must be someone who will buy....

-- Who will buy? from the musical, OLIVER!

WAHAHAHAHAHAH! Im on top of the world! And I've been sitting there happily for the last few days! This is a turn for the better, after the slump of last week. Now im on this dizzy high I feel like dancing around every lampost and hugging everyone on the street.

Well most importantly, there is this glimmer of hope for Measure. Mr Mc managed to talk Mr Hodge out of cancelling the play, so now it's been scheduled for the last week of term, (whenever the last week of the term will be, hmmm....) provided the SARS thing stabilizes and MOE doesnt cancel all events held in theatres by then. So im keeping my fingers crossed and if u guys have spare fingers and toes, do cross them for us too. Hahah! I was so happy when I heard the news, I wanted to go kiss Mr Mc and Mr Hodge and the directors and everyone thank you.

Anyway, loads of stuff have happened while I was riding on cloud nine, so here's a low down so I'll never forget this wonderful week.

Oliver!

Went to Oliver! with my class on saturday. Was so fun to see everyone all dressed up, shirt-ed and shawl-ed.( with the exception of some red and blue-shoe-d people. *ahem bang *ahem* kianleong *clear throat*) And the girls looked good, If I may say so myself. *ego* we even had matching shawls! And Angelila was in heels, which made her oh-so-hot legs look even hotter.

Anyway, I loved the musical to bits! Even better than singin in the rain, though many pple I spoke to disagreed. Hmmm... mebbe cos I've always had a soft spot for the more classical kinda musicals, like Les Miserables, Cats, Phantom fo the Opera, Evita. You know, the ones with drama-mama music and words, with wars and fighting and star- crossed lovers and sacrifices and really witty, funny characters and playful ditties and all kinds of melodrama stirred in. Something about the sweeping romanticism of classical theatre still gets at me.

Oliver's one of those that u leave the theatre with a silly happy grin pasted on your face and a little ditty playing on your lips. It makes u wanna dance and twirl right there at the lobby. The songs were so, so catchy I had them on my playlist for days on end, and even now I occasionally burst into my favourite tunes out of the blue. My mom thinks Im nuts.
And the set was sooooooo cool! You start off seeing the city skyline with its prominent dome in the distance, then it gets closer and closer and before you know it, whoah! you're in the city right in front of the domed building. And it was done so well, you dont even notice the set changes! And then there was the moving floor... but I wont spoil it for those who havent watched it yet. Go see, go see!

Baking days

Believe it or not, I spent the rest of the week baking. Boredom does weird things to people. It turned me into a housewife.
NOOOOO!!!!! Im turning niang niang!
Sunday saw me planning a cheesecake and shopping for ingredients, and on monday I actually *gasp* did housework on my own accord. Was cleaning the house to Michelle Branch's and Linkin' Park's albums and started jumping around, playing air guitar on the mop and winding up mopping a large part of the walls and furniture too. Then spent a large part of the afternoon drying the walls and furniture. Then decided the floors were germy and went over the floors with dettol again. See? Effects of being housed up.

On Tuesday I went to the library and read all these books abt backpacking and and safety during travel. Can't wait to go backpacking end of this year! learnt some self defense moves (most of which consisted of poking eyes and kneeing crotches and screaming bloody murder all at the same time) and found out that- get this- the trick to not getting mugged is looking confident and putting on this dont-mess-with-me look. It's that simple huh? no wonder so many backpackers get waylaid and mugged each year.The didn't know the secret dont-mess-with-me look! So i spent the whole night in front of the mirror squinting and frowning and trying to look menacing.

I tried to bake on Wednesday. I repeat, Tried. It was my first attempt at a cheesecake, so i din really know how to make the crust, and din exactly expect the cake to rise by so much (cos there wasnt any yeast or flour in the cake at all) So well, in short it was an overflowing disaster in the oven and I appeared at the tea party at kenneth's house emptyhanded. Sigh. Anyway, kenneth has a really, really cool room. He has like all these really spacy, sci-fi looking gadgets all around the room (I found out later that they were called a handphone, Hi-fi and computer respectively) and shelves of good books. And the best part is, he has two bikes so now I a) have a $2000 superlight mountain bike to ride b) have a friend who's owns the $2000 superlight mountain bike to go biking with and c)have a friend who's owns the $2000 superlight mountain bike who also lives really near me to go biking with. Joy!
Went home and tried the cake after it had been left in the freezer for some time. It actually tasted good! Amanda tasted some and was really nice about it. At least she tried to hide her grimace.Not bad, not bad. I have hope.

You would think that one day of baking disasters would put me out of the kitchen permanently. But no, amanda and i decided to bake a nice blueberry cheesecake the next day. To cut a long story short, it was hours and hours of blood sweat and energy and still, it turned out... weird. It was a little too short, so it looked awfully like a pie instead. ah well. We didnt really mind cos we were enjoying the blueberry and brandy and brandy and brandy topping and getting all jolly and then our sight started crossing so we couldnt really tell how high the cake was anymore.

I could go on to friday and the nice oreo cheesecake at starbucks, but I dont think your stomachs can take it.

2003-03-28T08:23:00.000-08:00

Measure has been cancelled. This is so unreal.

Part of me's screaming to do something, you know, demand an explanation, work something out, push for the production to continue on another date... just do something... salvage the situation somehow.

The other part of me feels like it just died.

God, now I really feel lost.

2003-03-26T21:52:00.000-08:00

You're the cheerful smile,the one that's truly
happy with almost everything you do and would
never change your life.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-03-26T21:32:00.000-08:00

'Staring out of the window,
Staying out of the sun...'
--Don't Cry for Me Argentina

What with the terrorists, what with the war, what with the epidermic, the world's not been as before.

Today's the start of the quarantine... the whole 10 days worth. It's supposed to be the holidays... borrowed frm the june hols, but huh? You can hardly call these few days the holidays. House arrest, more appropriately.

Urgh. I dun like staying at home. I get frantic when I have nothing to do. Kinda feel lost.

I miss rehearsals. Heck, I miss being in school. I miss seeing people.

And im worried. About Measure for Measure. About enrichment camp. All these have been pushed back indefinitely so everything's been thrown off schedule. And if enrichment camp keeps getting pushed back, im really scared it won't ever materialize.

Well well, nature sure has its ways of getting back at us huh? Caging us up like how we've caged up some of her own.
I feel almost sorry for my hamsters running aimlessly on their little wheels.

2003-03-20T08:11:00.000-08:00

You are the pilot.

Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz.
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-03-20T06:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we heard of the ultimatum given to Iraq and the imminent war that is looming in the Middle East.
More than ever people of faith need to persist in our efforts and prayers for peace.

--Friar John-Paul

So it really has come down to this.
This morning, when I flipped on the tv, all the newscasters could talk abt was the impending war. I remember this line I saw on one of the ads:
The world- a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel.

Funny, isn't it? How one would kill to protect the lives of one's own. So who sins most? The one who poses the threat but has yet to act, or the one who deals the first strike out of fear?

Was talking to Celestyn a few days back, and she commented that here we are, desperately studying for the common tests that mean practically the whole world to us and less than half a world away, people are thinking of ways to see the next sunrise.

Makes me feel like a toad in a well, sort of.

More than ever people of faith need to persist in our efforts and prayers for peace. There will be a service for peace on Friday, 21st March, 7pm at the Cathedral of the Good Shepherd. This will be led by the Archbishop, so all of you who want to do something positive for the peace effort and the season of lent in general, please please try to go and pray with the church.

The attitude most people seem to have is like, ok, uh-huh, the war's starting. And oh my ****, I'm gonna fail my common tests. Don't get me wrong, Im not saying that the CTs are not important. But lots of people don't seem to give the situation its due weight.Oh another one's breaking out again? So where is it this time? Iraq? Right. One of those ulu places. Come on! If they razed the whole place down I doubt they'll kill a hundred people. -hearty chortles and high-fives go around-

What else can we do right? many will retort. Well, grasping the gravity of it all is a good start. At least that gives respect to those who are suffering and have died. Then keep hoping, keep praying for peace. And comfort for suffering. It may not sound like much, but hey, don't ever underestimate the power of prayer.

2003-03-15T22:04:00.000-08:00

I just realized I've been living on a ridiculous amount of food. Yesterday all I had was kaya toast and teh peng for lunch, then half a plate of leftover noodles for dinner. Oh and plus two of jiayan's fries.

Believe me, Im not doing it on purpose. I just get hungry at weird times when no one is, then when they decide it's time to eat, I've tahan-ed so long, Im not hungry anymore. Pathetic. I think Im gonna die from ketone poisoning. Ohnononono.

And I've been so busy with SPIC and rehearsals and all the time trying not to screw up my common tests, I've been sprouting pimples. Then I have to fret about them, which makes me even more stressed. Hmmmph. U would think that getting stressed would make u prettier, just to make getting all frazzled up worth it. But no, not only have you to handle a mental beating, ur skin gets oily and pimples sprout, eyebags sag,and u look absolutely horrific. And you're so blah-ed u wind up typing stupid blogs like this and everyone thinks you're daft.

Life's not fair.

While trekking down the road of life
Although all hope seems gone
I just move on, I move on.
When I can't find a single star to hang my wish upon,
I just move on,
I move on.

I run so fast, a shock or blast,
can hurt me not one bit
Im on my toes, cos heaven knows,
A moving target's hard to hit.

So there's no doubt,
that we're cut out,
to run life's marathon.
We just move on,
We move on.

--I Move On, Chicago soundtrack

2003-03-13T08:21:00.000-08:00

I wanna run away,
And never say goodbye
I wanna hear the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna close the door
And open up my mind

--Linkin Park

If I rated my day, this would get a Z minus minus.
Am too tired to talk about it. i think half the school population should have known about it anyway, considering the number of pple I whined to and begged chocolate from today. ( Which was a good thing, cos I had no money today and I managed to wheedle dinner out of someone. Shameless me.)

So anyway I had free dinner and let off loads off steam during rehearsals ( yelling O you beast! O faithless coward! O you wretch! Will you be made a man out of my vice? at Nicholas was immensely satisfying) so by the end of the evening, I was mentally exhausted but feeling much better. I actually felt ready to have decent conversation with whoever pissed me off. Magic!

hmm...Measure for Measure sems to be actually getting somewhere.the J1 lit pple who watched the video told me it was supposed to be a provocative play... but I dun see that happening leh. Mebbe we need to get the comfort scripts out of the way first. Haha. so u guys must come and watch, k? The cast this time is good. And Sharon has done wonders for the the set. And Im a nun this time so if anything, can come and laugh at me all starched and prim and proper and dignified and guai and niang niang (for once).

Oh yes. And hear Jireh sing his lines in his new album, Gregorian Chants Gone Wrong, Vol 5.
heh, paiseh Such, steal ur joke.

2003-03-10T20:33:00.000-08:00

Had nice supper with gen last friday night at holland village coffee club. Over nice raspberry cheesecake and good good ultimate ice blended mocha (oh behave!), gen commented that yup, we're like robots. And i was like... oh yar hor... life has become so mechanical, so hurry-up-and-get-thru-the-day.

On Saturday, I was working on my organizer, so I was writing out the important things I had to do for the whole week. And it went like this:

This coming week
1. Mug like crazy.
2. Rehearse like crazy.

After that I stared at the paper for a long, long time.Oh my ****, that's it?
Then i added another line:

3. Stay sane to do this again next week.

Very helpful. And see, these three lines say it all. a) I have no life, b) my life is so blah and repetitive the whole week can be reduced to the three lines, and c) all I can look forward to is getting this week over and done with. But to what end? To do it all again the next week.

And this is precisely what i was talking about a few entries ago. zing!-less life. Just go thru the motions, get to the next day.
It's like something has become... dormant. Sleeping.

Too tired to invest a part of yourself in anything. Not worth the effort anyway. Too busy to give any more time. I hardly have any for myself. Too tired to feel. what's the point? Who's gonna feel for me?

Was thinking about all this and how it ties in with the season of lent. The fasting is supposed to put us in solidarity with all those around us. It's supposed to be a season of charity, and feeling and giving. And here i am, aparthic and all.

At this moment, my brother came out of his room and told me to listen to this new song. And it resonated with all I was feeling at that point. And the feeling was.... wah.... ( I'm still convinced God works in mysterious but wonderful ways.)

Wake me up inside,
Wake me up inside,
Call my name and save me from the dark.
Bid my blood to run,
Before I come undone,
Save me from the nothingness I've become.

2003-03-06T16:50:00.000-08:00

Yeap, I am a spoilt brat. It's official.

Was supposed to go for PE today... and i took all care to bring my soap, shampoo and hairbrush, and yes, even my new raspberry conditioner ( WHICH JIANYANG USES) in this nice pink and white net bag to school so that I could bathe after PE. (By the way, in case u were wondering, we're doing touch rugby on the FIELD, which is about the ickkiest place in the whole school.)

But I digress. Anyway, as I was saying, I was all ready to have a good bath after PE and smell heavenly from my (have I mentioned this somewhere before?) new raspberry conditioner when I stepped into school and was like. Oh ****. I forgot to bring a towel. And I SO wasn't going to walk around the whole day stinky and covered in grass, so here i am, sitting in the comp lab, blogging. (shhhh... dun tell anyone k?) And guess what? Im not the only one hiding out here. *evil grin*

2003-03-03T17:36:00.000-08:00

I have decided to get my life ORGANIZED. ( I know at this half of my friends would faint in mock horror while the other half would go into the tongue-clicking, there-she-goes-how-many-times-has-she-tried mode. But I am.

So on my mirror now, I have written in purple and blue transparency markers a list of targets for all 6 aspects of my life. Not vague things like I will be a better person, I will try harder in school, I will become closer to God, but real goals. The kind that u either achieve or u don't. No more of the yeah... I kinda met my targets... sort of...

Yay. So now I have my focus. And yup, I also have a list of things I want to save up for. Many people will tell u, money never seems to stick with me. I can survive on $2 a day, I can spend up to $70 too. And I do mean living expenses. So money for me is not a must have, and neither am I obsessed with money pe se, like dragons hoarding gold. It's the spending power im obsessed with.

Obviously, this mentality is NOT going to help me save any money cos the moment I lay hands on extra cash... tseeeew.. it's gone.
Sometimes I'm not even sure where till I tally up my expenditure at the end of the day and I'm like oh my ****.

So mebbe this list will help me. I have 8 items on the list, half of which will require months and months of scrimping and starving. When my birthday rolls around I'll turn the list into billboards and hang them everywhere so u guys can help me along.

Haaa. It feels so much better to see all that on my mirror. It reminds me every morning of how I want to spend the day, and what I want to do with all the time before me. It reminds me of what's important and what's not worth so much of my time. I remember this analogy Sean Covey put across in his book, The seven habits of highly effective teens. Lay down the large stones in position in the tank of life, and all the little pebbles can find their way between the giants. Lay down the pebbles first, and u will find that the stones and pebbles can no longer all fit into the tank. I've never been a large fan of self-help books, but this one did make a lot of sense.

It feels a bit weird doing this list too... like mapping out my life into do this, don't do this... sort of. But i figure no one ever attempts the wilderness without a map right?

2003-03-01T07:48:00.000-08:00

How many days in a year,
She woke up with hope but only found tears?
And I can be so insincere,
Making her promises that were never for real.
As long as she stands there waiting,
Wearing the holes in the soles of her shoes
How many days disappear?
...
How did we wind up this way?
Watching our mouths for the things that we say.
As long as we stand here waiting,
Wearing the clothes of the souls that we choose.
How do we get there today?

-Absolutely--9 days

The past week has been odd. It hasn't been exhilerating, but it wasn't exactly bad either. It was just... like that lor. No other phrase for it. Just...Mundane. Routine. Sparkless.

And that is something that do i fear most. This sounds weird, I know. That I might fall into the trap that has ensnared so many- the mass of men live lives of quiet desperation.
The idea of living to no end, of the dispair in the aimless wandering of the pendant world freaks me out

So I spend my days searching for that inspiration, that thing to give me reason.
Little things- a party, a rehearsal of a scene i love, an early day off from school- break the monotony ofan otherwise repetitive life, bring a zing! to my step, and keep me going on till I find another source of that zing!

These zings ( I have no other word for it) make the drudgery a little more bearable, gives one hope.
And purpose in existence.

All the days spent standing about,
What is it for?
One day closer to dying.

End of the Day--Les Miserables

2003-02-24T09:09:00.000-08:00

Mantlepiece

Was sitting at Starbucks studying on Sunday, when I thought I saw a friend I had not met for years. She was a final year Poly student attached to the very same lab I was during my internship in Sec 3. More than a month of watching her do endless titrations and helping her fill out visking tubings whenever my mentor wasn’t around, or just bumming and talking about anything under the sky while waiting for the polymer to coagulate in the reaction flask had made us close.

I squinted at the figure that was sprinkling a liberal amount of cocoa powder on her frapp. Was it her? Conjuring a visual image of plating my skin with steel, I decided to try my luck.
Karen? Astonished look. Nope, sorry dear, got the wrong person. Oh. She’s a friend of yours? Yup, one I haven’t seen in a while. Well, good luck finding her then. I smiled wistfully and turned back to my chemistry tutorial. I gave up trying to concentrate after 3 minutes. Leaning against the wall beside me, I stared sightlessly out into the night.

I wondered where she was at that very instant. She’d told me she had applied to some universities in the US. Perhaps she was there now, half a world away, just beginning her day. It suddenly hit me how far life can bring us, how diverse the paths we all would tread can be. Three years ago she was home, and now, a million miles away, in a new world, new faces, a new life.

I wondered if how often her thoughts wandered home. Maybe she was sitting at a Starbucks too that very instant, sipping her morning Café Latte with loads of cocoa powder, her mind crossing continents back here. I wondered briefly (and half hoped I did) if I had crossed her thoughts the very same way she was crossing mine. And silently, I wished her all the blessings the world could give.

It’s strange how life has its ways of reminding us of people. People whom u don’t see very often, or not at all for years, but u hold dear because they’ve (yes, this is cliched) come into your life and left something there. A signature scent, an earring, a duffel bag of a strange shade of yellow, all these remind me that a past was real, and keeps it alive. Till today, the smell of Polo Ralph Lauren and the sound of the Indian Nationalist ringtone brings Dr Rajah to life before me. And whenever I play pool, I am reminded of Eli, a good friend that I seldom see nowadays, who taught me the game years ago.

And I’ve come to realize how divergent our lives would be after this year. All my life I’d been living in a somewhat closed society. Same people, same faces, same places. And everyone seems to know everyone.
Get this: I had ex-neighbour who used to be a tuition friend, who moved away in primary school, and we lost contact right after that. Then I walk into RJ and voila! There he was in my OG! Then I found out that his cousin was a choir friend of mine, and that cos he took the school bus to school, he knew this bunch of easties I knew who took the same bus, and then I realized that he knew this other girl that I recently met at a play who was the ex-girlfriend of another buddy of mine. And that’s not counting the people who were in his classes frm sec 1 to 4 who became my friends in RJ… the list goes on.
We’ve all gone through school with almost the same bunch of people, from primary to secondary and now JC. Heck, by the time I’d hit RJ, I’d known a quarter of the population without having stepped into the school. Very small, very circular world.

Yet all that is to change after this year. So many choices, so many routes to take, so many ways to fly. But I know the further I go from this place, the closer I’ll hold these fragments of the past. For memories are what dreams are made of, and what are we without dreams?

2003-02-21T09:03:00.000-08:00

Not me

Today I was supposed to study with Ghim at the second floor tables. We were sitting there quietly when dark clouds started to rollicking and a stiff breeze started up. It was the kind of weather that I loved most. It's in the gathering of a storm, the anticipation of the unleashing of nature's fury that I feel like I'm in the right place in the world. Standing before the might and splendor of...an angry dance... a brilliantly orchestrated symphony.... I feel small and awed at the same time. It's a humbling experience. After all, we're so used to being in the centre of the universe and the top of creation we often fail to see through heaven's eyes. But enough abt the weather.

So I tore my eyes away frm the boiling sky and saw ghim staring at the clouds too. And he was like" wah, this is damn good weather. I don't feel like doing work liao." Haha. My sentiments exactly. So we talked.

And 2 hours later, I felt so much better, knowing there was someone who shared the same sentiments as I did on some things. We talked abt friendship... about finding and keeping of true friends, and how it seemed to be so difficult to do just that in RJ... how people seemed to be held together by laughter, and not by real understanding and love... how friends behaved like...pocket money, easy come, easy go.

We talked about insecurities... how we seemed to be hiding behind this facade, day after day, knowing it, yet unwilling to emerge...
And that all it takes is a little tremor to realize how many friendships u thought were solid are actually built on sand and peat.

We concluded that the best friends you'll ever have are those who have watched u grow and make mistakes and be silly and have been irritated by you time and time again yet keep loving u anyway. So to all those pple, Toe and Flouncy and all my darling yearmates and the St. Joseph's Choir... I love you guys. For making growing up that much easier and less lonely.

Many times have I asked myself, who am i? As much as I claim to be my own woman, I have yet to ( in the words of the guru) "move my feet to the beating of my heart." Tied down by the weight of conformity, freedom suddenly takes a new meaning.
The fustrating thing is, this freedom IS within grasp, if one would only reach out. Yet it is the comfort of acceptance that holds us back, time and time again. And it is this continual battle that rages within everyday, as I go through the paces of one who is not... me.

2003-02-20T08:57:00.000-08:00

Arrrrghhhh!!! Yucai just told me my eyebags are damn bad! I'm absolutely mollified!
Why didn't any of u girls warn me? I cud have dabbed on some concealer or something.-dab dab- :p

Now I'm going offline to put some cucumber slices on my swollen eyes and getting a peel off mask (the late nights have wrecked havoc on my skin) and get major BEAUTY sleep.

Guess what? I heard you'll die faster if you get less than 8 hrs of sleep a night. And I'm getting less than half that! Groan....

2003-02-20T08:40:00.000-08:00

I hope it rains chocolate tommorrow.

Everyone has been so... not themselves... I think a little chocolate and some homonal balance will do the whole world a load of good. But I guess I don't understand the whole situation so I probably shouldn't comment. I only hope that the still sane ones stay that way.

On other news... I got this haircut this afternoon... cost me quite a bomb cos the lady raised the charges and didn't tell me till the cut was over and it was too late to do anything. Kill pple set fire ah. Apparently her salon just won some award, so she decided to reward herself. But she's nice lar, and *gasp* she remembered me frm half a year ago ( which was the last time I cut my hair) so I shouldn't bitch abt her.

Now I have nice straight hair cos she blew dry it down for me... trying to make it last as long as possible... mebbe it'll still be straight next month if I don't wash my hair till then and powder bath myself :p

I love haircuts! They make everything feel right again. And they're quite a turn-on. *evil smile*

There's some truth in the 'Yes! Yes! Yes!' Clairol's Herbal Essence ad. Quite an ... erm... organic experience. Now I'm totally happy (high) again.
All those pple feeling crummy should try it.

Ahhh!!! gotta go suck the dust mites off the bed now. Mama was vacuuming my room...and she left the vac on my bed. Then I took a short 5 min nap and woke up scratching tiny bumps all over my... all over. Yikes! I hope I don't die from excessive blood loss and circulatory shock tomorrow morn.

2003-02-17T06:24:00.000-08:00

It's the third time I've been online in 3 days! hat a record! Im on my way to being a net junkie.
Watched end Of Days just now.... it's a rather disturbing show... some bit were quite blasphemous... especially the references to Stigmata and God's Eye and the spawning of Satan on earth by the joining of his darkangel and a chosen girl-child and such....

I was a bit shaken by the force of darkness in this one... You know how good and evil come in subtle shades of grey in today's world, and how they give u gentle nudges in either direction only on occasion? And you know how you've always believed that no matter how bad things are, all that is good and the truth will triumph? This show shook all that and turned all that I believed in upside down.

In the movie, the darkangel was all powerful. Evil sent its spreading roots through the world, and yet God appeared aloof, uncaring, even... weak.
I remember these lines : "How can you hope to defeat me," cried the darkangel " when you are human, and I am forever?" Pointing at the sculpture of Jesus on the Cross he taunted, "You died for nothing."
And at that moment, panic seized me for an instant and then left me with a strange, empty, hollow feeling. It was... silent desperation... utter dispair...it was...hopelessness.

And I was scared beyond words. Not of the darkangel, or the end of days, but the sheer lack of hope. It felt like I had nothing to live for.

'You died for nothing....'Please, Sweet Jesus,I found myself praying,Stand up for yourself, stand up for us... save us, save us... save us from the end of days....

I learnt loads from this show. I learnt the power of true faith, I learnt that we can afford to lose everything except hope, I learnt what an irony fighting for good is.

After the show I felt so... fustrated at myself. For ever doubting, for ever giving up hope. Like the disciples who slept in the garden of Agony, I felt as if I had deserted Him in His neediest hour. And I was totally shaken. I hope my faith bears the strength to be tested so in real life...
Do not bring us to the test, but deliver us from evil...

2003-02-16T07:42:00.000-08:00

Did canteen duty today. Am becoming quite good at battering chicken and pouring coffee and tea. Mebbe if I don't make it to med sch I can consider a job in a kopitiam mei.

Watched final destination.... now everything arnd me seems omnious...I keep seeing classic death scenarios waiting to happen....
Darnit...Im going looney! Death causes an outward ripple.... death causes an outward ripple.....

2003-02-15T06:47:00.000-08:00

I think my character is rubbing off on me. Hah. Enough of being a nun and getting teased abt being a virgin maid!

pure

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2003-02-15T05:59:00.000-08:00

I think I'm addicted to cycling. Something abt slipping and sliding and speeding downhill in the pouring rain has got me hooked.
Night cycling, anybody?

Shawn is going bike shopping tmr. Mebbe he'll find something for me and manda and him. Then all the easties can go cycling together. So fun so fun!

2003-02-15T05:32:00.000-08:00

You are a goddess!

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2003-02-11T06:44:00.000-08:00

If dreams were horses....

Yesterday I had this wonderful dream. And the best part is, it's one of those recurring ones.
I'm hoping that's a sign.

Anyway, I got married to this blonde hunky surfer dude on a beach in hawaii.... he taught me how to surf in the day and at night.... well *ahem* at night....

Anyway surfing was real cool. (even though I was in V-R mode)The bit where u rise just beyond the lip of the wave and hang for a moment in nothingness before u go speeding down into the tube... that moment still steals my breath whenever I think of it.

We went to the same college in honolulu... we'd drive in this red mustang down this highway bordering a coastline every morning to school... I can still smell the briney air, taste the salt on my lips, seee the cliffs glow in the morning light...
It was one of those "I'm Alive! Watch out world!" mornings, those u tried to freeze-frame so that the feelings of exhileration and pure elation would always be held there in time.

And school was like everything u see in the movies abt college life. Beautiful people, wild parties, hot cars...

If dreams were horses.....

2003-02-11T06:03:00.000-08:00

Rave-ing

*Airhead american drawl*

RAVE is drawing near, and it has turned more hairs on my head than my mousse can control.

Should I wear my blue or yellow bikini? Decisions, decisions. -pout-

2003-02-09T08:12:00.000-08:00

Hormonally imbalanced woman on the run!

Do not go gentle into that good night
Rage, rage against the dying of light

Arrrgh...have been thinking abt life and death and the fragility of existence a lot these days...
I think i'm becoming weird and depressed...
Arrrgggghhh....female hormones...

Ooop. At the rate im going and by doing some simple math....
I won't be able to swim on RAVE!!!!!
Arrrgggghhh....female hormones.....

2003-01-13T07:44:00.000-08:00

(To the tune of The First Noel)

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
When they got there
They did dispair
for there they found no well.
Nowell, nowell, nowell, nowell.....

2003-01-13T07:30:00.000-08:00

It's been one month and I've so many stories to tell but too sian to come online and record it all down. Weird people love me!
Remind me to recount my adventure with the demented singing rafflesian that Yucai knows so well... And the strange AJC guy who gave me this flower during Metro CIP... and the time I nearly caused a guy to wind up in jail had the woman who wronged him been a little bitchier. And of course, there's the ridiculously expensive evian water that pple kept buying that I asked the absolutely cute guy at ART cafe about, and then there were these cute, hunky gays going out with each other... *stab heart with imaginary knife*\

Anyway, it's back to school and stuff... I have been living out my resolutions and doing all my tutorials(really, Angela mama) and spending less(really, Uncle Shawn), and in short, being a perfect angel. I'll give it a few more days before all these good intentions wear off. The halo's getting heavy.

Many many pple going for Oliver (yes, even *gasp* Yucai) so fun so fun! Shawn suddenly finds himself (or rather his wallet) in high demand.He should charge some interest and pay me commission 4 helping him get lobangs liddat. :).
Oh, and the girls are going to the Centro party this weekend! So fun So FUN! I think Angela kena high on clubbing liao. Muah hahahahahaha......

Oh and guess what RP is doing for CCA fest?Har... in short some of us are going to dress up weird and paint ourselves silver and pretend to be statues.Cool rite? Like the buskers we saw in US, remember manda? So mm... if any of u pass by and see a fly on my nose...help a bit hor. thanks.

2002-12-01T00:41:00.000-08:00

oh, those going to proof, check this out.....

2002-11-30T23:35:00.000-08:00

Someone should ban those camera handphones!

I tell u, it must be me or something, I keep meeting the weirdest people. Entangled lesbians, demented Indian Cisco officers, u name 'em, I've met 'em. Was playing pool with my choir friends yesterday at monstercue, and as we were walking out, John tapped me on the shoulder and fidgeted as I turned arnd.

"Um... actually, it's a bit late to tell u this, but just now some guys were taking pictures of u two ( Angele and I ) with his handphone."

Too late? U bet it's too late to tell me that, brother. I glared at him. "And u guys didn't do anything?"
More fidgeting ensued. " Well, what can I do, right?"

What cud u have done? Beat the crap out of them like men ( ad most women. You go girl!) with any hint of testosterone That's waht cud have done.Sheesh, u cud at least have told me then so I cud do something abt it.
I was on the verge of shaking them all and questioning the existence of their balls but I decided to keep my peace. Plotting a suitable revenge takes time.

Angele gave a short sigh and sidled up. "hey, maybe we'll see ourselves on the internet."
Comforting thought, girlfriend. U know how playing pool goes. Like I want pple to stare down my (non-existent) front.

2002-11-29T08:10:00.000-08:00

More singin'

Ouch... My hand got kiapped by the car door on Singin in the Rain night. I think I have majorly slow reaction. Either that or my nerve endings are lagging. See, one moment my hand was on the door frame, the next thing I heard this slam, and this strange sensation that 4 of my fingers were experiencing some sort of pressure. It took a good 3 seconds for the pain to kick in. 3 whole seconds between the, man-my-hand-is-stuck and the oh-my -^&*@. And the weird thing is I tried to tell someone to open the door and get my hand out, but all I cud muster through the pain was mmmmph, mmmmph. Great help that. It took them another 5 seconds to decipher what I meant and free my fingers. They still hurt now.I hope nothing's broken.

Oh... and Singin' in the Rain was so good. Fantastic singers,really hot actors, and great dance moves. Such a happy musical! Got my feet tapping thru the whole thing. Im Singin in the rain, Im singin in the rain....
Did I mention that Don Lockwood is a total hottie? *swoon* Nice voice to go too....
Hmmm... but I didn't get how some of the dance bits fit in, didya, manda? Nevermind. They were very good dances at that. Value for money, as manda put it.

HArr..... tmr singing for Andy's bro's wedding. Its in the morn so none of the working pple can go so its down to those in sch. So that leaves 3 basses, 2 tenors, 2 altos, and 2 sops. I think we are gonna screw up people's once-in-a-lifetime event. Im going to pray real hard for all of us.

2002-11-25T21:59:00.000-08:00

Of skirts and singers

hmmm... the last few days have been so terribly dull, I've found myself missing SGH on several occasions. Went for rounds and rounds of... shopping. Ohohh, I bought this new skirt and it's so, so nice! (Manda, I just know what u'll say when u see it. I recall u don't exactly have a very good impression of the BBTT witch skirts.) And the best part is, my daddy paid for it. No hole in my pocket! Cheer. I think I'm into skirts now. They make my butt looks less, erm, prominent. In fact, I bought 2 over the last few weeks. Very nice.

Ohohhoh, And I'm finally changing my fone plan. After my bill hit an all time high last mth, my mom gave up and dragged me to the nearest M1 shop. I think I'm getting the 21 flex, but my daddy still has to consider. Yay. Caller ID at last. Now I will KNOW who's making the chicken and duck noises over the fone. Watch out, shawn and jianyang.

Brought shawn to church on Sunday cos he was supposed to go to manda's church but she had to go to pick up her aunt frm the airport so she wasn't free. (Have I mentioned that I feel like a spare tyre?) Ya. And he desperately needed to go cos he decided that he was going to get struck down by lightning if he still din turn up at service.
And guess what? He has a nice voice. Not the opera or musical singer kind, more of the boybandish type.Smooth. Mebbe next time u guys jam u can bring him along to sing with manda.

2002-11-25T21:33:00.000-08:00

Chaotic Memories

On Sat, we had a gathering at Jojo's place- seriously nice house, girl! Stoned arnd and played so many rounds of scrabble, my brains felt like mush by the end of the day. Thanks a lot, Elly. Thanks ah, thanks.

I'd never realized how much I missed my yearmates till we got together and it felt so much like the old times again. You know, the camps and sentry duties and firedrills and outdoor cooking sessions (amazing, no one ever got food poisoning. Potential housewives in the making.) and marching up and down and up and down and staying freaking late to polish our boots and all the rubbish we do in the room ( we can count the many different colours of someone's underwear lor. Talk abt Closet secrets).

But its all the little moments that give me the bouts of nostalgia. Staying over at Cat's place to rush the report overnight, scrubbing the BBQ pits in the dead of the night just so we cud stay awake to catch the sunrise ( that's the weirdest thing I've done. I mean, yeap, go to a chalet, be the maid for the rest of the snoring people and clean up the place. Sheesh. I don't even clean my room.), sitting in a circle and crying for no apparent reason, then laughing at ourselves for crying for no apparent reason, the euphoria after receiving the challenge trophy, and all the silly arguments we had that came with teary apologies. What's a true friendship without some tests of its strength?

In short, I love these people, man. They've watched me grow and change. And they've seen the silly, embarrassing side of me and loved me anyway. For all that, thank you. Always remember, k? Some things are too good to be forgotten.

2002-11-23T08:06:00.000-08:00

SGH bites

Went to plastic surgery for the last few days of attachment. spent most of the time slacking arnd cos at first we couldn't go into OT Quite clueless lar... what's plastic surgery without the surgery? Then we discovered the Medical Officers' room. Har... there was this comp there... and I learnt how to play the Quake demo.

Then we noticed these tiny shortcuts in the programs folder. Get this- one was labelled as "Live girls" And the other was even better- "Naughty Stripplayer" ARRRRRRRRHHHHHHHH.

So, sneaking a quick peek into the corridoor to make sure no one was comig, we clicked on the shortcut to naughty strip player. (The guys tried to appear decent by going back to their storybooks while all this was happening, but please lar, they were probably discreetly trying to peer over the tops of their books.) Anyway, just as it was loading, this pic of a scantily clad girl in a not too nice position appeared on the monitor.

There was a major uproar at this. Sam got up at once and threw his whole weight behind the door to prevent anyone frm coming in, ryan let out this huge moan and buried his face in his book (see? What did I tell u? how cud they have reacted like that if they weren't peeping over the tops of their books?) And the girls were squeaking and desperately trying to close it before the thing FINISHED loading.

Then we tried to check the history, ( it was an internet thing, btw), but no, some guilty person set the comp so zero history would be saved in archives. Rats. We managed to locate the source, but the page just wouldn't load. Double rats. Im not sure whether we changed the settings on the comp, but we checked the history for the heck of it b4 we left on the last day and guess what? we saw the website listed in history. aha. Someone visits it regularly.

Aiyeeeeeeee. And I thot doctors were decent. And that they dont need this kinda... ahem external stimulation cos they see so much at work already. U learn something new each day.

2002-11-18T06:44:00.000-08:00

SGH Bites

Heh. Today was a much better day. Actually DID something at SGH. helped the radiologist scan all these old ladies to determine their bone mass. I tell u, these ladies are amazing! There's this 70-year-old lady who still works as a school bus driver. And get this. She jogs with her husband for one whole hour every single day! Arrrrgggaahh. Plus she plays golf on weekends. Double Arrggaahh. The moment she told us that I was like gaping and spluttering like a semi-stupefied idiot while her husband laughed heartily in agreement, his potbelly bouncing up and down. ( Mind u, except for his tan and bulging veins, there is absolutely NO indication that he is that atheletic). Man, she puts me to total shame. Im going to run more from now on.

And after doing a whole day of bone scans, I got one done on me. For free Free FREE! my bone mass is denser than the average for my age. No holey bones for me when I grow up! Looks like the suntanning and milk drinking and jogging hasn't gone to waste.

Chatted up the auntie in the med lounge. Guess what, she could even give us tips on how to play billards. Apparently she has had 10 years of experience watching the docs play in that very same lounge. Wah... I found my shifu already.

2002-11-13T07:17:00.000-08:00

SGH bites

Salahdefied.... this blog was done on the 17th of Nov, 2002. The date configuration on my blog is a bit screwy. Sigh.

Wah...I havent blogged in ages....Been really busy with my attachment at SGH and stuff. It has been rather uneventful, actually.Watched doctors stuff tubers and many other different things up people's willies and asses and other bits of anatomy I never intended to find out it they even existed till my wedding night. But after a few days of that, Im like okay, here comes anothre poor bloke who's gonna suffer extreme pain where the sun never shines.Neeext...

Hmm.... Am now stuck in nuclear medicine. Can anything be more boring than staring at MRIs and CAT scans all day? And I strongly suspect the radiation is turning my brain to mush.So, Ryan and I decided to give ourselves extended lunch breaks. The last one we took lasted 3 hours. What were we doing? see, there are these 2 staff lounges in SGH. One for the ordinary staff like nurses and paramedics and cleaners, and one for the medical staff. Guess which one of the the bhb pple of RJC chose? Heh. The docs have it good. I watched a movie- the patriot- there, and played many, many rounds of billards. Very entertaining.Too bad the docs have no time to use such good stuff. The lounge is exceedingly empty, so we decided that the taxpayers' money shoudn't go to waste and so we made full use of everything- billard table, movie screenings, magazines, comfy couches.

Suck pond water shawn- who needs free drinks? :)

Anyway... the attachment really made me rethink going into med. The hours are hellish, and guess how old I'll be when I get to be a surgeon? 33-34!!!! ( congrats guys, u'll be there when u're 36.) Scream. And in the meantime u work 30 hrs at a go, grab 3 hrs of sleep after a night call and go straight to work at 8 the next day, have 21 days of leave a year( and even so, u dun always get it if leave schedule does not permit it), no public hols or weekend breaks, so it also means no social life, no family, no fun. U know why? Cos they're short of docs. Incredible. How come ah? I thot everyone wanted to do med.

Now I understand why jianbang wants to backpack. I would too, if I realized that I wouldn't be leaving this place for another 14 years.

2002-11-08T03:49:00.000-08:00

What Color Eyes Should You Have?
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2002-11-08T02:17:00.000-08:00

Arrrrrghhhhhhh. Life is ridiculously boring.

Just spent 2 hrs of my life watching guys shoot each other with Ak-47s and carbines. Wow. Talk abt constructive. Why? Cos I was stupid enough to go somewhere without a girl as backup. They should set up a sparstic-people-who-do-stupid-things-because-they- are-bored-out-of-their-minds club.
So here i am, in an internet cafe, wasting more of my time staring at a monitor. I should be the club's president or something.

Hehe. I kinda wanted to play too, and don't get me wrong, tubby and shawn did offer to let me play a couple of times, but I figured that I would only give the opposing team a chance to raise their frag count. Not very contributive to the team, that. Oh wait... that gives me an idea... mebbe next time I should join the OPPOSITE team and so that the team I'm supporting can up their frag count. Talk about self-sacrifice. heh.

Yar... so I watched the guys play the same boring, tiny map for like 2 hrs before someone had the sense to change it to something more interesting. ( Your enlightenment sure took long, old master.) In the meantime, I watched this bunch of guys next to me play Brood Wars. There was one next to me was playing Zerg, and he sucked... so, so bad. He was like freaking slow, and had like zilch forward bases, and his friend kept using the carriers to wipe him out ( talk abt variation in gameplay) and he still didn't learn anything frm it and kept losing. Sigh. (your enlightenment hasn't even come, old master.) Ok, ok. I'm bitchy. *grin* Wanted to ask them whether I cud join their server, but decided that it would be too GM. So I watched in delight as he got wiped out over 4 times in a hour..... KABOOOOOSHHHHH......

Hmmm... Christmas is coming and stuff... I can almost smell it in the air, the yuletide spirit and all. I love Christmas, how it's white and sparkly, and warm and full of cheer... reminds me of good friends huddled round a blazing fire, of old friends that I haven't met in eons coming together, of warm ale and treacle pudding, of turkeys and carolling, of bubbling kettles and snow. Ok ok, I jus realized that it might be a little early to think abt all that, but I caught a whiff of that spirit while I was washing dishes with my bro. Wednesday was mama's yang li birthday, so we held a mini celebration since my parents celebrate birthdays by the lunar calendar. So naturally she unceremoniously dumped the washing of dishes to me ( cos its a tradition that on ur birthday, u are spared of chores). And me, being the nice, kind sister that I am, told my brother to "come help me rinse the damned dishes." So anyway we were getting on into a soap sud fight and collecting "ammo" in litttle piles when my bro decided that it would be hell to clean up and called for peace. So we decided to sing.( which in my opinion would be far more trauamatic for the rest of the household than a messy kitchen) But anyway, out came our very own renditions of various carols sang across the years in choir (yes mel, even that clueless eman-eman-emanuel song) in voices bad and loud enough to wake the dead. Hamster voices, head bopping pop, boyband ballads and head banging rock, they all came together in the kitchen, with bad harmonising here and there and even worse choreography. They should pay us to stay off MTV. My mom came to shush us cos she couldn't hear the TV but all she saw was this two bad rappers ( but you see mam, sis and i 'ere, we aint did nothing but 'ash the 'ishes) so she beat a hasty retreat. The jamming ended with us trying to clear the pipe and cracking bad jokes bout efforts going down the drain, (yes bang, u found a disciple in my bro). Hmm..... something about being elbow deep in drain water scooping up bits of leftovers frm the sink does something for the brother-sister thing.

Yay... got some many plans for christmas.... Can't wait to go carolling again... and maybe the class should do a Christmas thing, ya? Hmmm.... and if the CIP Christmas play thing works out... wah... it'll be a wonderful Christmas this year. Cheer cheer.

Maybe i should list out my Christmas wish list soon so u people reading this can save up for my present, eh? Heh.... *ego ego*

2002-11-03T21:13:00.000-08:00

Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?
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2002-11-03T21:03:00.000-08:00

Arrrrgh... bored bored bored bored bored. The last two days have been exceedingly bland. Let's see...on Saturday... oh, went to this sign language thingy. Was damn fun. I mean, the language is beautiful, how so much can be expressed in silence... and it's somehow really intimate, cos communication involves looking at each other, reading lips, and loads of facial expression, so like wow...
Anyway, after that we went to manda's place to do bio project. Spent the WHOLE afternoon chopping up fruits. (why does it take 3 pple to do that? One to arrange the fruits slanted and on top of each other, the other to hold the camera, the last to mop up the left overs.) Sigh. And it doesn't help that I don't really like fruits. Mebbe that's why I got so much pleasure frm chopping them up.

Ouch... went running yesterday, and my thighs are aching. at this rate I'll be stuck in Fitness like forever. Heh. Flouncy and I promised that if we each lost 10kgs, we would go out and get a whole new wardrobe. I think by the time I get there, I'd be 70 and shopping for samsui tops and hair nets.
Went to a cybercafe yesterday... paid $4.40 for a measly 2 hrs plus of broadband. (ok, manda and shawn, u can stop gloating now) But I realized there's so much u can do with a fast internet connection. Not like my stupid 56k, which hangs if I have more than 5 windows open and disconnects whenever a call comes in. Sigh. I live in the prehistoric times. Maybe if I whack my mammoth-tusk modem with my brother's hunting club it might work. Oh wait... I see the problem... I have sabre tooth tiger hair stuck in my computer's circuits.

2002-11-02T23:56:00.000-08:00

2002-11-02T23:50:00.000-08:00

What kind of porno would you star in?
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2002-11-01T08:02:00.000-08:00

Heh. Surprisingly, the last three days have been eventful, but I think I 4got half of what happened. sigh. Lemme think... tuesday... was crab day... wednesday... oh yar we watched the video... heh. was a damn good show lar. I was like oscillating between pitying the guy and wishing he was dead. And it was a nice song the nun sang.. hearing it in church always brought a tear to my eye... If u stand before the power of hell and death is at your side, know that I am with you through it all. Be not afraid, I go before you always come follow me, and I will give you rest.... Heard it in church today again, during all saints' day service, the feeling was awwww....

Anyway.what else? Oh yar... the movie on thursday. Watched hannibal. It was so damn well worth my money. Anthony Hopkins never disappoints. And the Lector guys was kinda... cute. ( time to get a clefted lip people) Sorry. Got this insane attraction for the dark and dangerous. (and no jasper, I didn't mean skin colour)

After that we went to jiayan's hse to watch spirited away. Oh man, That was the most out of point show i've ever watched lar. And at the end, I really got nothing out of it except that the girl had legs to die for. Out of point. And some pple I know actually watched it many many times.*don't understand* Hehe. And guess who turned up at jiayan's hse out of the blue? Dicky boy... it's ur lucky night... Then ghim was supposed to serenade them both... but... well... play a nice SLOW song next time ghim... And dickson ran into the hse... sigh. Anticlimax. But guess what? A few minutes later u hear music tinkling frm the piano in the hse... looks like someone tried to make up for where ghim failed (sorry ghim... nothing against ur playing... just joking, just joking). Hah. I just made up enough juicy details to do a column in a tabloid...Oh wait, didn't the Tattler reporter get killed by Red Dragon? ... better watch out for the um... other dragon in class who wud probably get me after this...

Anyway... later we headed to borders, and we were just standing arnd trying to decide whether to leave yet, when Huilin suddenly recalls that Shawn was allergic to girls earlier this year, so she was like "er, what do u think will happen if i touch shawn now? mebbe I shuld go up and do this..." *at this pt she borrows my arm and strokes it, while crooning "oh shawn"...* So anyway shawn kinda knew we were talking abt him, so he was like "eh, what lar." And I told him.
"Huilin has this pressing need to touch you."
I'll leave shawn's reaction to the your imagination. And guess who was there stonily reading and suffering in silence? :) What a day.

Oh... and I met these two totally weird pple on the train over the course of 2 days. The first one was on the way to orchard on Thursday. The setting: Me in the carriage, sitting in the centre, with an empty seat to my right. Greying Ang Moh guy leaning on the pole in front of me. enter: Indian Cisco officer. (darn, now we can't trust men in uniform either...) So the guy walks in and leans on the pole where the ang moh is. Suddenly, he jumps up, points at the empty seat and yells,"Excuse me, excuse me, train coming through!" and leaps in to the seat with much aplomb. I had to bury my head in my bag to muffle the snort and cackle that errupted involuntarily. After a while, when I had pulled my facial muscles out of their contortions, I emerged frm my bag. I started smsing, when I realized a shadow was falling over my screen. I edged my phone away, and just as I looked up to glare at him, he jerked up, pointed at the ang moh and screeched, "excuse me, excuse me, I think he is interested in you, those damned British!" (yes dude, interested to be my grandfather maybe.) Huh? I caught no ball, but the poor caucasian had turned this bright shade of crimson and the ah sohs inf ront of me were tittering and the rest of the passengers were staring in amusement. So i sought refuge in my bag a second time, praying I would blend into the seat or something. After 2 minutes, I was turning blue, so I came out for a breath of air. Guess what I saw? This Ah Soh sitting opposite gave a toothy grin and tapped her temples in an indication that she thought he was crazy. (oh really ma'am? Geez. I hadn't thought of that. wow, that would indeed explain his strange behaviour.)

The second one was freakier. Was taking the train to school this morning, and I was leaning on the glass on the side of the doors, half asleep. Suddenly this hand lands on the pole right next to the glass and I look up to see this guy with.... nevermind, let's just say he wasn't.... erm... eye candy. But that's besides the pt. Anyway, nevermind that the rest of the carriage was quite empty... maybe I took up his favourite spot or something. But as the train ride continued, he inched closer and closer and he was bending over and round to try to catch my eye cos I had glared at him and pointedly looked out of the window, avoiding his gaze. I was really scared lar, cos, he was close to pinning me to the pane, and this rush came over me and I blurted the first thing that came to my mind. Which unfortunately happened to be "shove off, bastard." I pushed him aside and went to the next next carriage. My hands were shaking quite bad by then, and I could hear the blood rushing in my ears. Talk abt a great start to the day.

Sigh, whasit with the weird guys anyway? Must be extruding wrong pheromones. Still waiting 4 my surfer hunk to pin me to the glass pane.

P.s. Erm, In case anyone gets really insulted by my entry, I honestly apologise, and well, it's all in the name of telling a good story, yea? Blogs were never meant to be objective. ten years frm now you'll be laughing at it too...

2002-10-29T09:35:00.000-08:00

Today was a boring day. Gen and Manda were smart not to come to school. (dun let Ms Hor hear that though.) Spent half of the morning in com lab 2 trying (but in vain) to do something abt the plain old blog of mine that just screwed up, the ****, and listening to yucai snort and splutter for 2 whole hours. Apparently the cause of his mystious infliction was this site called the Darwin Awards. Snuck a peek at his screen while he was in a bout of hysteria, and soon the snorting doubled in intensity. I never knew natural selection could be this good.

Went running today... felt really good after that, till I realized what was in store for me for dinner.
Mom had a craving for crab, so we trooped down to Palm Beach for dinner. The food was good, as Palm beach standards go, but the crab is worthy of an honourable mention. Picture this: fresh tender crab deep fried in a batter of butter, milk, breadcrumbs and salted egg. Heaven. Plus the crab is the largest one I have ever seen.( we went kinda late so all the small ones had been taken). And the flesh was strangely....sweet. Weird. But real good.

I was a little hesitant abt eating all that butter, cos to put it mildly, the run just now was HELL. Besides, I could just imagine all that fat wrapping itself round my butt and adding like 5 inches to my waist.( Notice, ladies and gentlemen, that the fat NEVER goes to my bust. Why? WHY? Why am I fat in all the wrong areas?) Oh, and thot of something. If the scientists wanna end world hunger, they should find out how my body turns one ounce of butter into 2 kg of fat. But i digress.

Anyway, I took this tiny little nibble, and well, the rest is history. Consequences can wait till tommorrow.

Which makes me wonder, how do supermodels do it? And why do they do it in the first place? They spend half their lives starving and suffering, and what do they get out of it? Probably sex with people who change wives every other week. Wow. Great incentive.

But I digress again.My lil bro and I had a pincer fight.Oh, didya know that if u pull at this flappy thing in the pincer, the thing can actually move and kiap things? Heh.My bro found out firsthand when I was 5. Another fact to add to the reverse of a snapple cap. Oh, and my dad was making all these wisecracks abt crabs and flying pincers , and most of them could count as Bang jokes.We scuttled out before the mangement could call in the SWAT team to disperse the riot.

We stopped over at shop and save to pick up some stuff.My bro and I were really bored, so we walked up and down the aisles, me pretending to be an ah soh, my bro pretending to be my butler, commenting loudly about everything in our respective fako accents. After an imaginary swordfight involving a corriander, we strolled out nonchalently, hiding our glee at that the box of cereal we had slipped into the shopping tolley had gone unnoticed by my dad.( so we're a disgrace. Sue us.)

At the end of the evening, I realized that everyone was in high spirits. Amazing, considering the fact that I had been shelled on the way there for my rather excessive phone bill. Perhaps crab eating is gd 4 the soul.

2002-10-28T18:30:00.000-08:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

2002-10-28T18:19:00.000-08:00

What kind of drunk are you?

2002-10-26T23:06:00.000-07:00

arrrgh. Jus spent 4 hrs on the net, trying to sort out this blog of mine. Dad's pissed, mom's pissed and my bro's bugging me to let him take the helm. Sigh. Machines are not for me. will search the house for something constructive to do... like floss maybe. Hope the rain ceases soon... mebbe can go running after this... lose some of my butt. (tho I think a chopper and a vacuum cleaner will do a better job. Think south park.) Yep.
Shawn's helping me with the html nonsense. Thank gdness for small favours... Im getting a headache frm reading a whole bunch of letters grouped together randomly with weird symbols inserted here and there. How the guys (jasper and shawn) do it, i dont know. Now they say Men are frm Mars...
Oh Joy! something has appeared! Thankiew shawn. Jus saved me a load of hair pulling. And a huge bundle spent on yun nan jian fa zhong xin.I love my life suddenly.

2002-10-26T09:45:00.000-07:00

Oh help help help! I can do no s**t with dis blog. Talk abt being computer illiterate. Jasper... teach me, can? *wail*
Getting sleepy... better log off soon. Mom's a-nagging as usual. Life,,, 0h life... oh life.... oh life... doo dooo doo...

2002-10-25T23:55:00.000-07:00

Hey hey... my first blog. *cheer* Sitting at manda's room now, trying to do ipw. Not getting much done- what do u expect when south park, whose line is it anyway and mad magazines come together in the same place? I think I'm getting immune to south park too, manda. Not laughing as hard as i used to. Bleaugh. Such a constructive day. Nevermind. Wait till the science club boy and his genius counterpart arrive.

Haaa... Jianyang trying to call the PRCs but having no luck. Wonder why... Oohohoh... We just realized what a womanly figure he has. He kinda saw manda's hula hoop and he started doing the butt shaking thing with it- whatever that's called- and ooh lala! Seriously nice waist dude. Im jealous.

Ghim! Betcha he rigged the quiz. How come I keep getting him however I change my choices, hmmm? *suspicious* Manda and I set up a quiz 4 the girls, but hai... ghim got there first. Rats.

haaaa.... tubby just came back frm an engaging conversation with the darling PRC. Looks quite traumatized, the poor boy. I wonder why. Getting a PRC in the boarding hse is like trying to get to the CEO of a multimilliondollar corporation. U get directed to a thousand different departments before getting the secretary. " Huh? Ms HU ah? Ms HU no wan to talk to you. And no, she no want to go there either. Click." Then u realize u 4got to get the direct line to the office so u've got to start frm the beginning again the next time u call. Right. So now its the 4 of us. Great.